You are there for your family members, but no matter what you seem to say or try to communicate, it does not seem to be enough. From your point of view, they are doing well, and while they may be going through some tough times, you don’t know why they seem to hate life. Then, there are the statements they make.
Some people make statements such as “I’m not worth being here.” Others may say, “I wish I was dead.” These are blunt, painful statements to hear, especially when you want them to go away.
Know that no matter how many times you tell them they are wrong or that such statements are not true, you cannot wish them away. Instead, it’s critical to get your loved one to open up in a meaningful manner to share what is happening. And, in many situations, it’s critical to get them help. At Willow Creek Behavioral Health, our 24-hour, no-cost, and confidential assessment is always available. Reach out for immediate help.
Key Questions To Ask To Start the Conversation
When someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, they need professional support right away. Yet, they may not be willing to get that help. As long as you do not believe them to be an immediate risk, consider talking to them about what is happening and why they are making such statements. Start with questions like these, as recommended by the National Alliance on Mental Illness:
- “How are you today?”
- “What are you thinking about?”
- “Are you thinking about hurting yourself or others?”
- “Have you tried to hurt yourself before?”
- “What would you do to harm yourself?”
These questions can be very difficult to ask, but they will allow you to gauge just how serious their situation is at that moment. Take them seriously. If they are thinking about processes or have attempted steps in the past, seek out immediate help. Going to the local hospital emergency room could be a critical step.
Engage in Active Listening
It’s not always best to just communicate with those who are facing these difficult moments. You also want to listen and let them talk to you, even if they are not saying much. There are a couple of simple things you can do to avoid causing harm or upsetting them further:
- Avoid stating that you know what they are going through. Even if you think you do, you may not. Their battle is a personal one, and you cannot understand their experiences.
- Instead, say, “I can see how that would be upsetting to you.” This will allow you to continue the conversation.
- Offer some verbal affirmations throughout the conversation. “I get what you’re saying.” This helps show you are paying attention, and that can be incredibly valuable.
- Rephrase what they are telling you in your own words to show you understand. You might say, “For you, it feels like…” or “What I think you are saying is that….”’
- Let them lead the conversation. Avoid asking too many questions based on what you believe is happening. Instead, let them talk about what they need and want to talk about with you.
Take the time necessary to allow a person to truly open up. This is not a fast conversation to get them through tough moments. There’s more here that truly can make a big difference in the steps they take to protect their future or harm themselves.
What to Do If You Believe Your Family Member Is Thinking About Suicide
IN 2022, 49,000 people in the U.S. died by suicide. That is one person every 11 minutes. More shockingly, 13.2 million people seriously considered suicide during that timeframe, and 3.8 million made a plan. Considering these facts, don’t view suicide as something that happens to other people. It could happen to your loved one.
You can help them. If they are at risk right now under any circumstance, seek immediate help by calling 911 or the national crisis hotline at 988.
Then, start working on a plan to provide help. Don’t make this about trying to save them, but instead, seek out the type and level of care they need. At Willow Creek, we provide treatment for those battling suicidal thoughts. These thoughts are more than just being sad and can occur in both adults and adolescents. If you seek the warning signs of something being wrong, call for immediate help.
Let Our Team Help You Now
With 24-hour help, we are happy to help you protect your family member. Contact Willow Creek Behavioral Health today for a confidential assessment of your loved one. If you are a family member who needs guidance, our team is always a phone call away.
